@calamitydaisy: If you cannot afford a stenographer, a 4 year old will be appointed for you to repeat exactly what you said at all times. Do you understand?
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@clindsaysway: Guy at the Apple store suggested I turn off my phone once a week, so I slapped his face and ran out of the store crying.
@GriffLightning: OH MY GOD EDDIE MURPHY IS GOING TO DO STAND UP I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT oh never mind they're going to commercial. #SNL40
@laurenlapkus: I'm not kidding Santa is waiting outside my house til it's "late enough" to go down my chimney