@ImHopel3ss: If you cant beat'em, join'em! Then kill them while they're sleeping.
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@mostunladylike: Mugger *shows knife* Crocodile Dundee "No this is a knife" *pulls out huge knife* Alanis Morrisette "Hang on" *sifts through 10,000 spoons*
@KimmyMonte: Rejected Disney Movie Titles: 1) Find My Fish Son 2) A Shit Ton Of Spotted Dogs 3) Peter Pot 4) Pretty Lady & Big Foot Face 5) It's Cold
@GodShammGod9: My great grandma started to giggle at a barbecue and when I asked what's funny she said " everyone here is alive because I got laid ".