@BackrowSeats: If you come across a stranger in a dark alley immediately hug him so he knows you're not a threat.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AIanHangover: *Does something bad* Mom: *tells the entire family, tweets, posts on Facebook, blogs, tells people in china*
@XplodingUnicorn: [church] 1-year-old: *throws a tantrum* Me: This is the worst place for a meltdown. Wife: Nuclear power plants? Me: Second worst place.
@HatfieldAnne: [on neighbor's porch] I am here to purchase the dog you neglect. Either you take this money now or I will use it myself to post bail later.
@upsidedowntrash: [behind a customer in line at a coffee shop who is taking forever to decide what to order] me: hey. them: yeah? me: try the coffee.