@Rollinintheseat: If you don't call your spouse "wonderful" when you're on a game show, you're legally required to get a divorce at the end of the show.
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@Fred_Delicious: [becomes allergic to the floor midway through a date & slowly floats out of a window]
@brianbowman73: Interviewer: Name some of your weaknesses. Me: I procrastinate. Haphazard, cantankerous... Interviewer: Strengths? Me: Vocabulary?
@TrolleyCat: I'm not helping to save the environment until bears let me ride them around like cars. It's a group effort, bears.
@Book_Krazy: Me: What's with the look? Hub: How would you like a full-service massage? Me: I would, but will you and the kids be okay while I'm gone?