@genehunter1: If you don't have a bucket list, then put "make bucket list" on your "To Do" list. nnYou don't have a To Do list?nnnnJesus, what ARE you?
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@thatdutchperson: [at the gym] PERSONAL TRAINER: have you exercised at all in the past? *flashbacks to holding my gut in for the past ten years* ME: totes
@JermHimselfish: Accidentally fell asleep smoking an e-cigarette and when I woke up my whole house was on the internet.
@Sam19eighty: Mom: I'm worried you might end up alone. nMe: Don't worry mom, do you know how many followers i have???nMom: ... ( Worried face)
@NoTheOtherJohn: "NOAH. YOU WILL BUILD AN ARK" k "NOT "K" THIS IS IMPORTANT" Sorry "THATS OK. TAKE 2 OF EVERY ANIMAL ON IT" Even fish? *THUNDER* "NO NOT FISH