@ClassicMegan: If you don't open your mouth when you yawn, you're a monster. I'm serious. Let that demon go. You're freaking everybody out.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Reverend_Scott: [Fortune Teller] "I see great wealth, also danger." Oh. "And blue meth. Walt Jr. is crippled." Are you watching Breaki- "Jesse is so hot."
@TheBlessMess: The best part of being an adult is eating whatever you want. I just ate a small man that pissed me off at the liquor store.
@natechartier1: Judge: I find him... not guilty *Tom Brady breathes a sigh of relief* Cop: *cuffing him* So that's where the air was, huh? We finally gotcha
@ratamack: I want to date a girl who is willing to solve any disagreements with impromptu light-saber battles.