@ClassicMegan: If you don't open your mouth when you yawn, you're a monster. I'm serious. Let that demon go. You're freaking everybody out.
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@NicestHippo: [doing standup] So I live in Kansas— [hysterical laughter] That…that wasn't the joke
@Kyle_Lippert: Treat your woman like a princess. Spice up your relationship & have her kidnapped. Then do mushrooms & swim through the sewers to find her.