@MsGreenGoddess: If you don't sit down to a nice big plate of breakfast for dinner once in a while, you're missing out on one of the best things in life.
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@ArfMeasures: BOSS: Why aren't these documents attached together? ME: Sorry I couldn't find my...[suddenly forgets the word stapler]...desk crocodile
@AmishPornStar1: My wife's yoga class is really relaxing... 'Cuz she's usually gone for at least two hours.
@OMGShenanigans: Today's interpretive dance was brought to you by "Spider On My Shirt". Up next we have "Oh jeeze, where did it go?!"