@careworn: If you don't want me to sing at your kids then don't name them Roxanne.
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@_ISpeakTrue: Guys aren't the only one who get friendzoned! I'm so deep in the friendzone that I've met his girlfriends parents
@ArfMeasures: DATE: I'm a historian, I love the mediaeval era ME: [trying to impress her] *dies at 28*
@Reverend_Scott: Thinking about having kids? Buy a plant. If you can keep it alive for 18 years, hopefully you're too old to have kids by then.