@DowntimeDad: If you drop a peanut in a shag rug forget it, let it go.
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@Fred_Delicious: if you're ever worried there's an intruder in your house, shout 69 down the stairs. if no one laughs, there's no one there
@CerebralWreck: [date started at 9 pm] [9:30 pm] Her: I love long awkward silences. [10:20 pm] Me: Me too.
@Rollinintheseat: Interviewer: "Why should we hire you for our research team?" Me: "I went to the second page on a Google search once."