@DowntimeDad: If you drop a peanut in a shag rug forget it, let it go.
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@MrsTomServo: Women want men they can fix; men want girls they can save; I want a sandwich that makes itself.
@marinhubka: I moved to LA 9 months ago and I've just been circling around this whole time looking for a parking spot.
@dysalexia: Next time you're on a date and someone asks "Is that your boyfriend or your brother?" smile really creepy and whisper "Both".