@DowntimeDad: If you drop a peanut in a shag rug forget it, let it go.
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@ArfMeasures: [Me as a boxing commentator] ME: Oh no, they're fighting again, this is just like last time
@kimtopher22: I saw death today, in the face of the man at the next table, as I heard his wife say "I don't know, do you THINK I look fat?"
@BoutCrazed: "I'm frying some fish for supper, so yall come over & eat" is what I said. "You're also gonna be helping me move my piano" is what I meant.