@platinum2000: If you dropped two noodles on the floor, they would probably resemble my name more than my signature does...
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@SteveSuckington: [third date] Her: please quit calling me Jenny Me: oh my apologies Jennifer Her: my name is Amanda
@TheGladStork: Fill the piñata with goat intestines to teach children about the brutal consequences of violence.
@carlyken: "...until death do us part." *looks at minister* "What about a Walking Dead situation where she's a zombie? Then I can bang other chicks?"