@platinum2000: If you dropped two noodles on the floor, they would probably resemble my name more than my signature does...
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@GrowlyGrego: *walks out of prison, a free man. *guards shouting from gate "From! At! For! With!" What? "Oh, we always end sentences with a preposition"
@louisvirtel: I was worried that Tim Kaine was too boring and then I remembered entertainment is what got us into this mess.
@dshack8: My wife is so married that she even stopped blowing out the candles on her birthday cake cause she doesn't want me gettin' any ideas.
@Playing_Dad: *Clark Kent leaves his glasses on the coffeemaker at work* Lois: Anyone see the coffeemaker? You, with the glasses...seen the coffeemaker?