@Bob_Janke: If you ever feel silly for being on Twitter just remember there are people on national television asking "ghosts" questions.
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@EndhooS: boss: have you been here all night? me: [jumps awake at my desk] uh, yeah. boss: trouble at home? me: there's a seagull standing on my car
@SlabBaconBP: Im the guy that says "Is he bothering you?" when some douche is hitting on you, just so I can hang around and bother you after he goes away.
@LADaddy: There's an alternate universe where we are together and finally happy. And I probably forgot to take out the trash there, too.