@bibbymoynihan: If you ever see me in a restaurant, please approach my table and do your Drunk Uncle impression. Especially if I'm with family or a girl.
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@trevso_electric: That one onion ring didn't end up in your french fries by accident. That's Burger King's way of flirting with you.
@sixfootcandy: I'm having lunch with my mom today. I can't wait to hear how tired and unmarried I look.
@KalvinMacleod: [high school] ME: *getting stuffed in my locker* jokes on you buddy, I have snacks in here