@bibbymoynihan: If you ever see me in a restaurant, please approach my table and do your Drunk Uncle impression. Especially if I'm with family or a girl.
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@UncleDuke1969: [job interview] Him: What’s your greatest strength? Me: I’m very independent. Him: … Me: … Him: … Me: Tell him, Mom. Mom: He is!
@RappaRick: Monday: forearms Wednesday: forearms Friday: forearms Sunday: forearms --Popeye's gym schedule
@Kyle_Lippert: "I love u" "Umm isn't it a bit too soon to say I love you?" "Oh ha I meant the letter U. What's your fav u word? Mine is Unreciprocated lol"