@GrantTanaka: If you ever see me on my death bed, please take me off my death bed & move me to my alive bed thx
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@GreenishDuck: This is just a quick reminder that we're all gonna die one day so don't get caught up in petty shit also stop stealing my tweets Greg.
@Schmoodles: Me: Girls' night in!!! Cat: I'm a cat. Me: You're my best friend. Cat: I'm not even a girl cat. Me: So it's like a date? Cat: Get help.
@MichaelTrying: The worst part of being named Michael is repeatedly being broken up with via a text that states *drops Mike*
@Pat_Bren: Hey, Sean Bean, it's either pronounced Shaun Baun or Seen Bean. You can't have it both ways.