@GrantTanaka: If you ever see me on my death bed, please take me off my death bed & move me to my alive bed thx
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@SatansTongue: *Vladimir Putin dining* I want Russian fries "They're French fries" Not for long *crosses Ukraine out on agenda & lists France* Not for long
@Bob_Janke: An 8 year old just asked me why people in electric cars don't get electrocuted when it rains and now we're checking Google
@faizziy: Apparently "You should Google it" isn't the best response when she asks how much do you love me? Sigh, women are so demanding..
@drhappyknuckles: Somebody once told me in the middle of a huge machine gun battle that I always emphasize the boring parts of anecdotes, which made me sad.