@stacetoned: If you feel like someone is playing mind games with you, they totally are and you should kill them before they kill you.
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@david8hughes: [in class] Me: hey, can I borrow a pen? Guy: sure, black or blue? Me [sweating & swelling up]: you got one for bee stings?
@shutupmikeginn: As a child, 'The Jetsons' gave me unrealistic expectations for the future: like having a wife who loves me & owning a dog.