@comedyfish: If you give someone some Beethoven CDs for a gift and they don't like it, you can always take them Bach
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@Parentpains: If you didn't want me looking in your bedroom than you never should have put your window at the same height as my ladder.
@IMBeanz: When I'm really bored at work I like to write "I'm watching you" on the toilet paper a few squares in just to mess with people.
@ibid78: Judge: You're sentenced to death. You'll be hung. Wife from the back: HE'S ALREADY HUNG. Me: Your Honor uncuff me so I can high five my wife
@Ohgoddessitsme: When I'm driving I listen to the country station because it makes me want to get to my destination faster.