@comedyfish: If you give someone some Beethoven CDs for a gift and they don't like it, you can always take them Bach
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@knot_eye: Dear Ad Agencies, Please stop using doorbells in your TV commercials. On behalf of dog owners everywhere, Thanks!
@outsidemagazine: Yellowstone visitor upset bears didn’t show (Would like park service to train them):
@MindyFurano: Kissing someone mid sentence is only cute in movies. I will press my hand against your face and slowly push it way until I'm done talking.