@Sassafrantz: If you go to the zoo and he doesn't help you steal a monkey, he's not that into you.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@aSapCoolDad: *shows up to marathon with perfect hair* Yeah I've been conditioning a lot for this race
@SCbchbum: "I'll have a caramel macchiato, hold the espresso & milk." "Miss, that's just a cup of caramel sauce." "You heard me."
@bourgeoisalien: I threw my cat a surprise party. Long story short, I need 30 stitches and learned I should never scream 'SURPRISE' directly in my cat's face
@zachreinert03: I was watching tv with my mom & she was amazed a blind guy didn't care his son was missing & I was like outta sight outta mind am I right