@Sassafrantz: If you go to the zoo and he doesn't help you steal a monkey, he's not that into you.
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@UNTRESOR: [meeting GF's mom] Wow! This must be your sister! Your baby sister! *shakes keys in front of her face* I'm overselling this, aren't I?
@garrydavenport: One of my "100 things to do before you die" would definitely be "call an ambulance".
@Lisa_Laughs_: I know two wrongs don't make a right, obviously. But how many does it take? I'm like on 756.