@fuzzlime: I like how the dude in the next self-checkout lane is trying to disarm me with small talk like we don't both know this is a goddamn race

@jasonroeder: The cashier seemed to appreciate that I bagged my own groceries until I unpacked them all and said, "That's how I want you to do it."

@DanMentos: Q. Why are ghostbusters afraid of bridges over small rivers? A. Because they're not supposed to cross the streams

@SteveKoehler22: A young musician left his priceless Stradivarius violin on a train in Germany. But it was returned... no strings attached. Wait...what ?

@Ndeshi_M: My dad is Jamaican and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs.