@aveuaskew: If you hit a car that is blaring Christmas music before Thanksgiving, it will deploy tinsel instead of airbags.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Brianhopecomedy: "Daddy?" "Yes?" "What are you doing?" "Writing a fictional conversation so I can post it on Twitter."
@Prof_BrianCocks: K1: Frankincence K2: Myrrh K3: Gold K1 & K2: WHAT? K3: Gold K1: We said £20 each! K3: I.. K1: I hate you K3: Wrap it from all of us?
@aidanjsears: INTERVIEWER: so what makes you qualified to work at comcast ME: *shows up four hours later* INTERVIEWER: you're hired