@thedaisycomplex: If you knew what I considered to be my "best behavior" it's doubtful you'd advise me to be "on it".
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@TrainedHedonist: We're out of duct tape, craft glue, and frozen orange juice because I made a sandwich while I was drunk last night.
@monicaheisey: i watched a bunch of spy movies and developed this extremely accurate FBI floorplan
@WillMckenzieNot: At a restaurant: "Would you like a table?" "No, not at all. I came here to eat on the floor. Carpet for 5 please."
@chris_witha_see: That moment of panic when you realize you haven't checked on your Farmville in like 6 years