@tacos_y_cerveza: If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth the $20
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@thepatrickwalsh: My dad's visiting soon, which means I need to practice apologizing to waiters with my eyes.
@FauxFawx: *calls 911* Hey, I found some big guns. *Cops surround the house. I come outside flexing and get shot 263 times.*