@tacos_y_cerveza: If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth the $20
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@WayneL_Jr: That Chief Keef album hypnotized me earlier. I didn't even realize I was stealing from my mama purse until she paused my music.
@kimmie_1980: Level of singleness: yelling, "pizza's here!" So the delivery man doesn't think all the pizza is just for me...
@shariv67: No one is reading any of these tweets. Feel free to unburden yourself. I murdered a drifter once. Wow. That feels great. Now you.
@LittleMissZesty: If dogs have taught me anything, it's that barking is a GREAT way to get rid of people you don't want to speak to. Works for me EVERY TIME.