@_2Birds1Stoned_: If you loiter in a Tibetan spiritual leaders sandwich shop every day, then you dilly dally in the Dalai's deli daily.
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@JediGigi: [he picks me up on 1st date] Him: What do you have there? Me: [struggling, crawling to his car because my backpack is weighing me down] Ham.
@RorynotRoy: You'd think Goldilocks would have been all like, "Damn, it smells like bears in here. Is that a family portrait of bears?! I should leave."
@Phoebetate: I was just accosted by a small child riding shotgun in a shopping cart yelling "why you ain't got no babies?"I bet my father in law paid her
@tchrquotes: And then one day we decided we were tired of sleeping in and doing whatever we wanted whenever we wanted in a clean house, and we had kids.