@_2Birds1Stoned_: If you loiter in a Tibetan spiritual leaders sandwich shop every day, then you dilly dally in the Dalai's deli daily.
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@CrazyUncIeJoe: How girls put on their pants: *Left leg*, *Right leg*, '' Wiggle*, *Wiggle*, *twerk*, *Jump*, *Jump*, *Squat*, *Stretch* Done.
@TheBoydP: I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
@cosmicbibi: My hobbies include humming the Jurassic Park theme song to my chickens, to make them feel more in touch with their ancestors.
@Thedudish: As my girlfriend was trying on jeans, a clerk asked her "Need a bigger size?" I saw the look on her face and went to make room in the trunk.