@claire_mudie: If you lost your needle in a haystack then I don't think you were responsible enough to have had a needle in the first place. Needle loser.
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@GrantTanaka: *strips off clothes, stands on desolate highway holding sign saying "Last Naked Guy For 75 Miles"
@lovexios: I hate when people text 'call me'. I'm going to start calling people, say 'text me' and then hang up.
@Mr_Kapowski: - Are you excited sir? - Yes! I'm gonna feed whales & pet dolphins! - Sir, this flight is going to Finland - That's like Seaworld, right?
@blade_funner: DOG DRIVING INSTRUCTOR: Please assume the correct position for operating a vehicle. DOG STUDENT: *sticks head out window* DDI: Excellent.