@VerifiedDrunk: If you love someone just tell them. Or get drunk and text them 75 times, that's practically the same thing.
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@Sal0630: My girl must be planning a big April fools joke or something. She's been agreeing w/ me all morning. Either that or she got mad cow disease.
@SteveSuckington: *bursts out of stable on a chihuahua* "Wait, if you're here then that means" *cut to a horse peeking it's head out of Paris Hiltons purse*
@Robert_Beau: HR: You know why you're here? Me: So we can be alone? HR: Your new nickname is a problem. Me: We all have them. HR: Yes, but Sperminator?
@abbycohenwl: Mama Bear: Ok but last time Papa Bear: Thanks, babe [she puts on a Goldilocks wig] Mama Bear (falsetto): I can't sleep here! It's toooo hard