@KevinFarzad: If you love someone let them go. If they come back they probly forgot their keys or something & yikes that's gonna be an awkward 30 seconds.
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@AcrimoniousClwn: Heard rumors that a coworker slept her way to a promotion. Damn, if the bosses only saw how much I sleep at my desk I'd own this place.
@dafloydsta: [first date] HER: You smell so good. What are you wearing? ME: *nodding and sniffing myself* Mashed potatoes with gravy.
@Gen22: McDonald's burgers always look so great in their commercials but when you actually order one it always looks like its been sat on.