@aliterative: If you love someone, let them go. If they don't come back, detonate the explosive collar.
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@StellaRtwot: We wouldn't really have any national debt in this country if strippers would just pay their damn income taxes.
@michaeljhudson: *dog runs for president* *is asked race sensitive question "The thing is, I don't see color" *crowd goes wild*
@suntzufuntzu: Me: [Advancing my knight] How much to build a hotel on this square? Grim Reaper: First, as I explained, that's not how the horse moves.
@carlyken: Buy Domino's Fire everyone Hire dragons Fire roasted pizzas Delivery in six minutes or less IMAGINE DRAGONS