@SergioValenCo: If you don't want to marry me, why did you sit next to me on this bus?

@MarkAFuqua_Hunt: I'll always be here for you.... Unless we run out of beer, and someone has some over there. Then I'll be over there for you.

@MafiaJoker78: A date so good... I eat 10 more.

@Vodkantots: Me: My stomach hurts. WebMD: You're a kid, trying to get out of something.

@iAmDelFreaky: This is embarrassing. I tunneled through my wall to escape work and ended up in my boss's office. He's watching me tweet this. I'm fired.