@aliterative: If you love someone, let them go. If they don't come back, detonate the explosive collar.
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@WheelTod: [Office] *Dolphin accidentally dials fax number Fax:EEphkEekakischchEEek Dolphin:Well, I don't normally do this. But yes I'm free tonight
@ashleyaustrew: If you love someone, set them free. If they cry and refuse to leave the bathroom you're in, they're your kids.
@BuckyIsotope: HORSE: *walks into a bar* BARTENDER: Why the long face? HORSE: Updog BARTENDER: What’s updog? HORSE: Not much just walking into a bar
@Amusitr0n: [clenching fists] "I'll fight someone" Waiter: For the last time sir, 'cheese plate' describes the items on the plate not the plate itself