@alrulz2009: If you love something set it free. If it comes back, celebrate with some delicious tacos. If it doesn't that's twice the tacos for you.
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@AliceGolightly_: Me: You've dimmed the lights already, aren't we forward? * smiles suggestively * Optometrist: Just read the letters on the screen.
@ka_unplugged: There are two types of people on Twitter. Those who can take a joke, and those who will copy it and claim it as their own
@iamspacegirl: FISHING TRIP Joseph *casting his line*: Son, your mother thinks it's time I tell you- You're agodpted. Jesus *runs across the lake crying*