@LizHackett: If you marry someone a few years older, one thing they love is when any classic rock song comes on and you ask "Is this Led Zeppelin?"
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@phalguy: My girlfriend's ex won't leave her alone. I'd drive there and do something about it if my wife would just give me the keys.
@squirrel74wkgn: No one talks to you on the bus when you're shaking a box of Milk Duds that your head phones are plugged into.
@XplodingUnicorn: Coworker: Do you ever think about work at home? Me: I don't even think about work at work.