@topherjordan: If you mean sleeping, then yes, I'm pretty freakin' amazing in bed.
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@AdriannaLaCervx: I squish my belly fat around during serious conversations because I have intimacy issues.
@rachelle_mandik: i'm torn between getting my own personal jesus or getting a large jesus to share with the whole table
@juliussharpe: I'd be less scared of trying to take a gun from a mugger than I am of taking an iPad from my kid.
@causticbob: Wife: Hi, did you eat? Me: Did you eat? Wife: Are you copying me? Me: Are you copying me? Wife: I love you! Me: Yes, I already ate