@RdrJay47: If you offer me celery I'll use it as it was originally intended, to beat you with.
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@bobvulfov: DATE: oh u have an eyelash on ur cheek [picks it up] make a wish ME (under my breath): i wish u wouldn't touch my property
@TheDreamGhoul: the guy at the liquor store didn't card me and it hurt my feelings so I said I was a cop and idk what to do next we're just standing here
@edgeoftheword: And then alcohol said "Put that on facebook, it's hilarious." But alcohol was wrong. So very wrong.