@LOsepyan: If you play a NIickelback song backwards you'll hear messages from the illuminant.Even worse, if you play it forward you'll hear NIickelback
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@HomeProbably: I've received so many Christmas cards from people I don't know this year, probably because they weren't addressed to me.
@MelvinofYork: If my wife calls me passive-aggressive one more time I swear to God I'm going to run the dishwasher half-empty again
@st00pidfast: I can't make you love me but I can tie you up and feed you until you're too fat to be loved by anyone else.
@towelforacape: People always say I make things sound sexual but I try not to pry them open and force my thick throbbing opinion down inside them.