@vinfury: If you play your cards right, I could be your 2nd and 4th husband.
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@bridger_w: This year, teach your kids the true meaning of Easter by trapping them in a stone tomb for three days.
@BoogTweets: Judas: How long are your arms? Jesus: Why? Judas: Like in a cross, how long Jesus: A what? Judas:Across. How long across.
@shkeeber: Me: Objection! The plaintiff is a bologna sandwich! Judge: What? M: I plead insanity. J: You're a juror. Me: Can I go? J: No. M: OBJECTION!