@briangaar: If you pull a lizard's tail off, it will grow back. If you pull it off again, the lizard will be like "dude."
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@tmckenna1: "Donald Trump is feuding with the Pope" is like the 7th Onion headline that's become real life in this election season
@DiamondLou69: Hot chick at the bar just said that she's gonna do something stupid tonight... ...I informed her that I only had a 1.75 GPA in high school.