@briangaar: If you pull a lizard's tail off, it will grow back. If you pull it off again, the lizard will be like "dude."
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@TheTweetOfGod: Traditional marriage was between a boy's parents and a girl's parents. And maybe some cattle.
@joshandbeyond: I always try to hold the door open for women I see walk by, so we can talk and get to know each other. But none of them will get in my car.
@UNTRESOR: Doctors just told me I have "stripper lung" from inhaling too much brass polish & if I go back to "JIGGLERS" again I'll die.
@hyperblastchic: Me singing: Then I saw her face!! Now I'm a Beliber! Not a trace of doubt in my mind! Roommate: You DO know that's a guy...right?