@STOTLE: If you read the instructions carefully, the first step to making any microwavable lunch is to throw away the box and dig it out of the trash
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@sarcasm_inc: [a spider watching soccer when someone kicks a ball into the net] hell yeah, now eat it
@Reverend_Scott: Guys; if she stops responding to your messages for days, 100% of the time it's a technical problem. Keep trying.
@sixfootcandy: Mom always said to wear clean underwear in case I got hit by a bus and I'm like "they wouldn't be clean anyway mom!"
@SCbchbum: I blame movies for giving me unrealistic expectations about how long I can look away from the road while driving.