@david8hughes: If you see a distressed woman in the mall screaming that she can't find her baby, don't offer to help her make another one.
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@DannyZuker: My wife CLAIMS to be my best friend but she didn't seemed all that psyched when I bragged about this girl at work I just made out with.
@writerPT: Hubs: If you could sleep with... Me: THOR!!! Hubs: ...the fan off tonight, that'd be great. Me: Ohhhh...
@SondraDeeMe: [first date] ME: I'm from a broken home. HIM: When did your parents divorce? ME: No, they were hoarders, and the second floor collapsed.