@david8hughes: If you see a distressed woman in the mall screaming that she can't find her baby, don't offer to help her make another one.
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@Discourt: Just told my toddler to eat 5 bites of her dinner, to which she replied I was horrible. So I counted the number 3 twice. Biotch.
@TheRealRHB: Parenting Tip: Place fake present under tree with unruly child's name on it and when he misbehaves toss it into the burning fireplace
@thetobbie: Kinda hypocritical of me to complain about people who send mixed signals seeing as the mat in front of my door says "welcome"...
@EndhooS: [See's a guy playing bagpipes] Son: Why's that man wearing a skirt? Me: I think the real question is why is he sucking that musical octopus?