@MdUNH: If you see a white guy in earbuds convulsing angrily with T. Rex arms, don't freak out. I'm just jamming out to Eminem.
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@ItsAndyRyan: Me: Do you ever feel like you're an imposter? Psychiatrist: Get out of my chair Me: Interesting *writes 'thinks he's the psychiatrist'*
@FrenulumBreve: "hello pretty lady." [i slide down the bar] "what's your name?" i say as i casually toss a peanut in my eye.
@shariv67: Boy, your name must be Adobe cuz when you call me up for a date, I say "Ask me again later."
@dadofbieber: If one ex was drowning and the other was dangling from a cliff-edge and you had one set of ropes to save them....where would you hide it?