@lawyerthoughts: If you see me in court you'd think I was furiously taking notes, but 9 times out of 10, I'm usually drawing a t-rex eating a witness.
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@rolldiggity: A good way to make a car dealer uncomfortable is to say, "Tell me if you can hear this," and then get in the trunk and start screaming.
@slimmy_shady: If she licks all the frosting off her face with a single 360 degree sweep of the tongue, she might be Scooby Doo.
@keyblur_justin: I was going to have sex with you, but you asked what Mario Kart was and wore pants inside the pillow fort....I'm just kidding. I don't care.
@moiragallaga: The fact that people use the wrong "your," "there," "it's" and "its" yet spell "Bieber" correctly just kills me.