@lawyerthoughts: If you see me in court you'd think I was furiously taking notes, but 9 times out of 10, I'm usually drawing a t-rex eating a witness.
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@robfee: Johnny Depp could lose 250 hands of strip poker in a row and wouldn't even have all his thumb rings off yet.
@MartaEffing: [Puzzle Group Therapy] Crossword: Just once, someone use a pen! Sudoku: Nobody likes math. Jigsaw: ..Then they glued me together! *sobs*
@ohpeetie: You think you understand people and then you see a car with eyelashes on the headlights.
@RafaelaStoakes: Iron Man Iron Man Does whatever an iron can Makes stuff hot Makes stuff flat Burns your hand Burns the cat Burns the house down . . Shit!