@lawyerthoughts: If you see me in court you'd think I was furiously taking notes, but 9 times out of 10, I'm usually drawing a t-rex eating a witness.
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@WheelTod: If you spotted a white guy with headphones throwing gang signs on the subway today, that was just me listening to the soundtrack of Frozen
@ibid78: "Ok last interview question. Biggest weakness?" "People say I'm too hospitable." "I see. So should I stop sitting on your lap?" "Your call."
@hipstermermaid: I got 99 problems and they're all friend requests from people I didn't like in high school.
@Donna_McCoy: There's nothing more difficult than trying to convince a narcissist that you don't like them.