@caliluvgirl77: If you slowly put your fingers in someone's mouth, they will quit telling you about their day at work.
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@ilovepie84: Tattoos tell a story, like tribal tattoos tell a story of a guy that wears sunglasses indoors.
@dafloydsta: DOCTOR: I'm afraid I've got bad news ME: *pulls an apple from pocket* DOCTOR: *sweating* GOOD NEWS, I MEANT GOOD NEWS
@drinksmcgee: Trojan’s next commercial should just be a guy saying “See?” while pointing at my kids when they’re fighting over a cookie.