@Black__Elvis: If you smell Axe body spray on your lawyer you're going to jail.
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@kDuncanG: Don't tell me what your cats' names are, I'll call'em what I want. Oh, Mittens & Snuggles? WRONG. THAT'S WILDSTYLE & THAT'S SNACKMOUTH.
@mattvalleau: Pet Review: Horses Cost: Thousands of dollars Pros: Bragging about owning a horse Cons: Can literally kick your face off, big teeth 1.5/10
@awkwardphilippe: [opens fortune cookie] -You will have a great night "aw, that's neat, wait there's more" [unrolls note further] marish clown assassinate you
@GuttaLikeNoOtha: My son: Mommy I can't wait to grow up and be a man. Me: Don't be silly son, you can't do both