@Black__Elvis: If you smell Axe body spray on your lawyer you're going to jail.
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@ShutUpThatsWho: [God making water] "it helps plants" ANGEL: nice "cleans things" A: ok "u die if u don't drink it" A: "& drown if u drink it wrong" A: what
@TheToddWilliams: FRIEND: What's your favorite underground band? ME: Hmm...The Beatles FRIEND: They're not really considered underground ME: Half of them are
@Sickayduh: *sees commercial* "Talk to your kids about drugs before its too late" "Kiddo. Kitchen. Now" - Yeah? "This is oregano. Don't get ripped off"
@crunchenhancer: When bears are around, try to look skinny and they won't eat you. If that doesn't work, kick your buddy in the nuts and RUN!