@Spaziotwat: If you stare at an ice-cube for long enough you can pretend you have laser-eyes.
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@GuyThe_Guy: You can learn a lot about a guy when you go through the pockets of his pants that are at his ankles in the bathroom stall next to your's.
@TheCiscoKidder: I ate a banana so big that my Facebook relationship status automatically changed from "Married" to "It's Complicated."
@topaz_kell: Health Tip: If you find a pill on the floor of a public restroom, rinse it off before taking it.
@0point5twins: STUDENT: what's it like being drunk? TEACHER: see those 6 desks? A drunk person would see 12. STUDENT: there are only 3 desks.