@Spaziotwat: If you stare at an ice-cube for long enough you can pretend you have laser-eyes.
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@mollzbenn: The same friends who used to pressure me as a teen to drink & do drugs now pressure me as an adult to eat chia seeds & do crossfit.
@E_lok44: The only lyrics I can make out in the song "Informer" are "Hey farrrrmer...something....a leaky boom boom cow". Not 100% sure though.
@wittwitbarista: Unroll wrapping paper. Shoo cat away Turn to get gift Shoo cat away Get tape Dammit cat Get tape Wrap up cat Wrap up gift Pet cat
@LeBearGirdle: *speed dating* I'm a competitive eater! Date: Are you any good? [grabbing my suitcase, dumping 45 hotdogs on table] funny you should ask