@XplodingUnicorn: If you still had hope for kids today, a teenager in a bookstore pointed to a book title and asked me if it was about World War Two or Eleven
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@CherBear162: Did you hear that? What? DID YOU HEAR THAT? NOT "WHAT?"..WHAT!? What? *axe murderer kills both*
@Ndeshi_M: Colleague: Quick, the boss is on her way! Me: That’s weird I swear that I didn’t hear her broomstick!
@killazilla: My sis just asked if sugar goes bad. Now I can't stop picturing it bullying the other spices and selling pot.
@jannable9: I'm not sure who looks more frightened & confused when someone knocks on my door, the dog or me?