@Laser_Cat: If you subtract all the sex robots those NASA nerds built, the moon landing only cost like eighty dollars.
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@KizerBillhelm: HR says I'm not allowed to scream "OH GOD IT BURNS MAKE IT STOP" when I walk through the front door at work anymore :(
@GreenishDuck: One day a guy named Matt banged a waitress and nine months later a mattress was born haha just messin around on this website.
@Crunk_Jews: [blind date] Her: I was so scared you'd be a weirdo Me [revving chainsaw]: I CANT HEAR YOU
@DanMentos: Gene Hackman is my favorite actor whose name sounds like a job description at Monsanto