@MyHairyLife: If you take longer than 10 seconds at the hand dryer, I will wipe my hands on the back of your shirt.
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@Mindless4Miles: Hopefully women like a mature man. Because when I say I can do it multiple times a day, I mean vacuum.
@TheSharona06: I had a beautiful pearl of wisdom to tweet but I dropped it on the ground and one of my dogs ate it. I should have it back in 12 hours or so
@kelkulus: It would have been cool to see the discovery of salt. "This food tastes bland. Let's see if I can improve it by adding some rocks."