@KentWGraham: If you text your boss that you can’t come in and include the poop emoji, he doesn’t ask any questions.
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@Jason_Horton: People are so fake how can you love your newborn baby when you met it like 2 minutes ago and don't know anything about it
@danguterman: Sick of the media always blaming video games for the rise in fantastical jewel-seeking quests.
@radtoria: if you tell your guests your house was just broken into and fake cry they will clean it for free