@StatusInBeirut: If you think being a vegetarian will make you thin, I direct your attention to cows.
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@lisaxy424: I would most likely die like 45 minutes into a zombie apocalypse, and even more likely it would not be zombie apocalypse related.
@SteveSuckington: [first date] Me: so u just wanna poke ur straw thru that little hole Her: I know how juice boxes work Mom: well isn't she a feisty one?
@RoosterMustache: I hate when my phone corrects "hood morning" to good morning. Maybe I meant hood morning. Maybe some thug shit has happened today.