@bingowings14: If you think Pi is 3142, then you're missing the point.
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@mdob11: I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don't really understand kites or insults.
@DaddyJew: Dentist: have you been flossing? [ flashback to me picking steak out of my teeth with a potato chip earlier ] Me: yes
@GingerHotDish: Them: So why did you guys get divorced? Did he cheat? Me: We went to Costco on a Saturday.