@bingowings14: If you think Pi is 3142, then you're missing the point.
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@stevevsninjas: Astrogeologists: do telescope/remote sensing on distant objects. Astrologists: use horoscope/do not remotely make sense/object when dissed.
@greggjgc79: [catches your phone before it hits the ground] Whew, that was close! [smashes your phone against the wall] See, that could have happened.
@TheCatWhisprer: I just laid on my cat's keyboard while he was working on a last minute PowerPoint presentation.
@brettryland: Redheaded guys know they can just dye their hair, right? They don't have to live like that.