@Cheeseboy22: If you try to rob my house, you should know that the item in the house I paid the most for are my son's braces.
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@CornOnTheGoblin: Did you guys ever prank your passed out friend by putting his hand in a bowl of warm water and then dropping a tiny toaster in it?
@shutupmikeginn: Ugh I hate living next to an art school I dragged an old couch outside and a bunch of dudes came over and they're just taking pictures of it
@_4kidscrazy: Me: Did you have a shirt on when you said it? Wife: I was naked, just out of the shower. Me: And you expected me to remember what you said?