@TheSomeGuyShow: If you walk in on a girl giving birth in the bathroom at Applebees, don't judge her, you're also eating at Applebees.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Shock_Monster: If I could go back in time & change any event that would alter the course of history: I probably wouldn't have super sized that fry order.
@KentWGraham: Based on the sounds coming from my neighbors’ house, they’re either having amazing sex or putting together a dresser from Ikea.
@_davidlucas_: *Takes gift wrapping paper to the counter* Her: Did you want to buy that? Me: No, I just wanted to hold it for a while.