@TheSomeGuyShow: If you walk in on a girl giving birth in the bathroom at Applebees, don't judge her, you're also eating at Applebees.
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@ColorMeScradd: Me: Got any more of those debbled eggs? Friend: Did you just say DEBBLED eggs? Me: No, I said the right thing...
@shiksaaa: My boyfriend said he had a Catwoman fantasy. I must have misunderstood because we both wore leather cat suits to bed last night. Awkward.
@PajamaBen_: You know what I really like about you, girl? You're really down to earth. *waits for response, nothing. Goes to next tombstone* You know wha