@KeetPotato: if you walk up to a british policeman and play the benny hill music he legally has to chase you until you turn it off
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@AndyAsAdjective: *accidentally grabs a fork from the silverware drawer instead of a spoon but I'm too lazy to go back so it takes me 47 min. to eat my soup*
@chuchugoogoo: "Read 'em and weep" I say as I lay down my hand: a collection of my grandparent's handwritten love letters from WWII.
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Excuse me, where are your nails that twist? Worker: You mean screws? Me: I don't know, I'm not a nail scientist. Worker....