@omgthatspunny: If you want a pretty nurse, you've got to be patient.
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@jergarl: Wife: Whatya doin? Me: I fixed the toilet so I'm adding Potty Fixer to my résumé W: You mean Plumber? M: DO I LOOK LIKE A HOUSE SCIENTIST?
@DBMaxP: Dear lady arguing w/ the clerk over whether or not it is "good" champagne: YOU ARE IN A GAS STATION!
@iGreenMonk: If I found out I only had a week to live, and could go anywhere in the world, I think I'd go to the hospital because that sounds serious.