@gingerfaced: if you want a woman to settle down with you be a cat
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@onelongbender: This woman at work sounds just like me. I'm going to pay her to call my Mom and occasionally say mmhmm and how nice.
@ArfMeasures: HIM: We need to decide who to eat first as we're stuck on this desert island ME: Actually it's a "deserted" island H: Ok so that was easy
@AimeeHelene1: *hears someone breaking in* *grabs gun and walks down hallway* *cord drags* *realizes I grabbed Nintendo gun from Duck Hunt* *gets shot*
@blade_funner: [itsy bitsy spider diary] Day 47 of my attempt to climb water spout. Weather looks good. Hopeful.