@gingerfaced: if you want a woman to settle down with you be a cat
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@Cheeseboy22: I could never join the army because I'd never be able to figure out what time it is.
@LuvPug: People on Facebook really lose their shit when you comment on their hospital check ins with 'Glad you're not too sick to post your status'
@just1fool: Right? That noise. ~Me pretending that I know what I'm talking about when I get my car serviced
@JohnFugelsang: My favorite Bible story is when Jesus feeds the multitudes after administering a drug test to make sure they deserve food.